Posted in Journey Journal

So I saved this cat from getting hit. STORYTIME!

So I was minding my business going to work one night when there was a detour and an accident. So while going thru the detour I see this white little mess of a cat sitting right in front of oncoming lights. Just sitting there, like it had no idea who or what that was. Luckily I got to it first and stood in front of this car doing 50 in a 25 residential. (LIKE WHAT?!?)

It came right over to me and wanted pets and comfort, so it wasn’t feral. It was like snow its fur both in texture and in color. So I called my sister who was with my dad and together we got the critter into the bathroom. I then went to work after essentially locking the bathroom from my sister. Whoops.

So the next day . . . OH BOY!

No pet places that can check chips are open before 9am. So after google leading me astray in hopes that one was, I called animal shelter. But the thing is! I found it on county lines and the county I may or may not have found in is one they don’t rescue in. So I called animal control and the sent a truck to me. But when they came they told me the same thing, found on county lines and its the one county they don’t rescue in.They came all the way to my apartment just to tell me that. UGH

So at this point I was becoming a mess with its existence, sneezing and one of my eyes closing. So I looked up the closest shelter and went there. There was a line but fortunately it wasn’t too long. I begged the lady to help me and I guess from the sneezing to my eye twitching. She advised me to go to the next door with the cat and say you found it in the county we were in, and not the next one. I did and FINALLY THEY TOOK THE CAT!

I’m sorry but by then I was a sneezing, twitching mess that still needed to clean the bathroom before using it. I got out of there as soon as I could and went home. The entire thing lasted since 6am to 1pm, and I was tired. I never knew the rescue process could be so complicated. But at least the cat wasn’t hit by a car. It’s now safe.

I hope I did the right thing, but to be honest, I’m not doing it again. Sorry, but it’s not as simple as it seems.

Posted in Journey Journal

To move foreward – you must realize you were standing still

Its an odd kind of sensation, being in the kitchen at 3 in morning and making mac and cheese when you reliaze…. you’re alone.

And not in the sad way, not entirely, but in a safe -“no one is going to tell me off for do this” way. Being all too aware of yourself and your being gets tiring. Now that I’m alone I’m confused on how I did it all for so long. Walk on eggshells, curb my existence, hold up a sign just to please someone else: its all gone. I dont have to do it anymore

Cry in the living room? Go ahead.

Ballroom dance with your rabbit? Why not! No one is going to tell you to knock it off.

Its a sense, I’m still grappling with it all because in some cases i am still paranoid. My brain will mimic a shout of my name while I’m listening with full headphones on. In the middle of the night. All by myself.

Or if the dishwasher isn’t done as soon as I come home from work, I get this sharp pain in my chest. Out of fear I’ll lock myself in my room in order to not get yelled at, only to find that its not biggie. “If I need it, I’ll just grab it from it ” -roommate

As free as I feel, there is still a piece of me that’s trapped. Held hostage and waiting till reality catches up.

I’ll keep running. Runnung and hopping and skipping just so that piece can stay in its place. In the back. Untouched and unreal. I hated standing still. Now I refuse to.